22 Simple Ways to Make Your Woman Smile this Season

1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous (not fine, or sexy.)

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3. Kiss her on the forehead/neck.

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

Role Reversal: Women Take Charge!

By TJ O'Karo

 

A few weeks ago, my cousin put up a status update on her facebook page. I can’t remember her exact words but it read something like this, “Today my pastor gave an example of a girl who had sex with a guy she had only been seeing for three weeks. He expressed shock at this, wondering what kind of girl would do something like that, but I’m thinking maybe she just wanted sex.”

The Best Break Up Ever!

 

In today’s world where people are jumping off bridges to meet the mate of their dreams, people are still breaking up! Believe it or not, but not everyone you see holding hands at the cinema is actually in a loving committed relationship. Some people are actually plotting for the best time to wave goodbye to their partner.

A friend of mine recently split up with her boyfriend of 3 months. According to her, he had way too many annoying habits and she just couldn’t put up with them any longer. While I don’t begrudge her reasons for breaking up with the said boyfriend, I did find her break up tactics a bit novel. She just stopped picking up his calls. The poor guy even tried coming to see her at home and she instructed everyone in her house to always tell him she was out! Two weeks later and the dude got the message. The phone calls and unannounced visits stopped. When I questioned her further about what seemed to me an unfair way to sever ties with another human being, she informed me that her method of breaking up was the best because it avoids the unnecessary emotional discussion of “it’s not you, it’s me”. I disagreed.

9 Dating Questions Men Are Dying To Ask

---

By Joy Isi Bewaji

Joy Isi Bewaji suppllies the answers...

There are a couple of questions men are desperately dying to ask their women but it’s not so easy to just spill them out; you never know the kind of reaction an innocent question might trigger; something as simple as, ‘why do you have stretch marks all over your bum?’ Can trigger a no-sex-for-one-year response, so guys are careful.

I took the liberty to ask 9 guys just what they’d like to ask their women if it came with no repercussion; and I, as the female representative, gave freely the answers. You might find them controversial; but anyway here they are…

Q: Why do women wear heels so high they can barely walk in them?

A: I know you’ve seen women fall flat on their nose because they had four-inch heels on their soles. Nevertheless, high heels do make a woman more attractive. Her legs look longer, her strides are classier which would also aid the wriggle of her hips. See? A pair of heels has the ability to accentuate the female form causing the back to arch and pushing her bosom forward. Women feel sexy on heels. It gets her noticed because it takes her inches taller, and men love the exaggerated form of a woman, so it works. Heels elongate the legs, straighten the posture (thus pushing out the chest) and lift the bum.

In the fashion industry, when they say, ‘a woman can leave her house only in high heels,’ it translates to the fact that a pair of nice heels can save a woman’s look. She can put on just about anything, but with the right heels (and bag) she is transformed, miraculously!

Nobody said fashion would be easy, but it’s a lot of fun! Fine, we all know that high heels are very uncomfortable; they kill the ankle and leave you with an aching back! But who cares, as long as it makes you a sexy kitten for the hour, it’s fine!

THIRTY WAYS WOMEN CAN MAKE SEX GREAT FOR MEN

1 Learn how he likes his penis to be handled

His penis is not like your clitoris - it's not highly sensitive and delicate. So he'll want you to go straight for his penis during sex, and once you're there he'll want you to apply a firm pressure (though you can make sex last longer by teasing him and working gradually down his body towards his penis). Learn how he likes it from his reactions, if necessary by watching him, and you'll soon see the kind of stroke and pressure he appreciates most.

2 Play with his balls

Because men are so penis-centred, they and their partners tend to forget how sensitive and erotic his scrotum and testicles can be. Play with his balls as you give him fellatio, for example, and he'll be in heaven. You could even try taking one at a time into your mouth and gently rolling it around.

3 Play with his perineum

If you haven't discovered the erotic potential of his perineum yet - that's the area between his scrotum and anus - then another treat's in store. You can press, lick, stroke and tease this area, and increase his sexual excitement enormously.

4 When he comes, stimulate his anus

If he's near his orgasm, it can make him come there and then. press his prostate gland when he comes, he's likely to have a massive orgasm!

5 Talk dirty as you make love

A lot of women are too inhibited to talk dirty during sex, but I'd say most men like it - a lot. If you tell him to "fuck my hot wet cunt" when you're both enjoying sex, he's most likely to come there and then!

6 Do something different

If you always employ the same old routine during sex, do something different. For example, try a different sex position. If you usually have sex with him on top, roll over so you're doing it on your sides, facing each other. If you haven't tried woman on top, get up there and ride him. If he likes rear entry (and which man doesn't?) then let him enter you from behind while you lie in the spoons position on the bed - that's more intimate than rear entry but probably just as exciting for him. Or take the initiative, and seduce him in the kitchen, making love on the table or the floor! These positions are especially fun to try when you're feeling horny.

7 Wake him up in the night for sex

A woman can always seduce a man subtly if she puts her mind to it. So see what happens if you press your buttocks up against him in the night, or if you press your hot vulva against his cock as he slumbers. Move your hips around a little as you do this, and he'll soon be raring to go. This might be best reserved for the nights you don't have an early start next day.

How to Make Love to a Woman in 5 Easy Steps

One of the biggest problems men face is knowing how to make love to a woman!
Unfortunately what commonly happens is men get their sexual advice friends or from pornography. As a result, they have a distorted view of what sex is actually about.
If you really want to know how to make love, you should follow a PROVEN system that is guaranteed to give pleasure to a woman.

In this article, I'll discuss a step-by-step system that many guys use to have great sex:

Step 1- Put her in 'The Mood'
Before you have sex, you have to put your woman in the mood. This involves setting up the right kind of environment which will enhance her pleasure.
To put her in the mood, you should darken the room, light some candles and put on good music. Your focus should be to create an atmosphere which emphasizes sensuality.

Step 2- Use foreplay
Foreplay is one of the most important things to learn about how to make love to a woman. Using foreplay is the best way to transition from a conversation to having sex.
Typically foreplay involves kissing, "heavy petting" and sensual massages. The rule of thumb is to really focus on her pleasure and start building up intensity.

HOW TO TOUCH A WOMAN'S BREAST.

For the benefit of men who thinks the nipple is like a radio knot that coudld be turned anyhow,and those who are afraid of touching this beautiful part of a woman,this article will be helpful.

 

The woman's breast is filled with nerve endings; this is why these are one of the most sensitive areas to touch. If the woman's breasts are well manipulated and stimulated, they could leave a woman ready for the best of orgasms.

Nipples can be big or small and hidden, the areola is the part that surrounds the nipples, it has a different color that the skin and usually has thin hair.

Not every breast is the same, therefore they don't respond in the same way to different stimuli, it is clear though, that they are really sensitive, if we want to give a man the idea of how sensitive they are, we can compare them with their testicles.

How to break the ice.

I started a football course with three mates and this girl caught my eye straight away. She was the only girl there. No words were exchanged but I could see she was looking my way with a little smile on her face and when I caught her doing it she broke eye contact and looked the other way. Later on, me and my mate were talking and she was edging towards me slowly, literally doing baby steps sideways. She kept looking as if she was going to say something but quickly pulled away. What can I do? I know I have to talk to her but is there anything else I can do to stimulate attraction?

Kevin says:
It sounds like you’ve got an open goal here, Danny -  this girl is clearly impressed with your tackle. So don’t hesitate and miss the target like Emile Heskey, bang it straight it there like Cristiano Ronaldo. If you don’t, I guarantee one of the other lads on this training course will quickly take advantage of your profligacy.

Although, I have to ask, was she doing this course before you started? You might want to check whether she’s already had half the team and is now simply homing in on the new player, Vanessa Perroncel-style (allegedly). After all, you have to question why a girl would join a male-only football course? It’s not as if her football skills will ever be taken seriously.

It’s equally possible that you’re imagining the whole thing (I don’t mean the football course, just the fact that she is eyeing you up). But even if that’s the case, it can’t hurt to start a chat. Ask her what team she supports, or whether she thinks Coleen should take Wayne back.

THE ART OF SEDUCTION.

By Glory Edozien

There are few things I love more than being chased by a man that is totally into me. The constant phone calls, the surprise gifts for absolutely no reason, the ‘just because’ flowers sent to my place of work, the romantic dinner dates and, of course, the intense look in his eyes when he tells you he’s in love with you. I don’t know about the rest of the female populace, but as far as I am concerned, there aren’t many things that are more seductive than when a man is totally into you and is willing to prove it.

So you can understand why it has never crossed my mind to be the one to make the moves on a man. Now, before you all start to scream at me, let me just say there is nothing wrong in making the first move on a guy, but personally, it is something I have never been comfortable doing. If I meet someone I am attracted to and he makes no move on me, I let the matter rest. Call me old fashioned, but I believe it is a man’s place to do the chasing. Also, I don’t think we women are built to take the possible rejection that may follow. What if I chased some guy and he told me he wasn’t interested. HA! I might have to move to another country! I wouldn’t be able to bear it. Plus, I would be absolutely clueless on how to go about such a mission.

However, I have recently found out that I am in the minority where this is concerned.  According to my friends, we 21^st century independent women are go-getters; we see what we want and go for it! Be it a job, a car or a man…if we want it we must have it. Unfortunately, I am yet to tune myself to accept such a broad ranging definition of independence. However, things might soon change.

Recently, I have been undergoing training as part of continuous professional development at work. Little did I know what I was in for. My trainer was a blessing from heaven. He is tall, has a good build and then a face that would rival Denzel in his prime. As soon as I walked into the door, I knew I was in trouble. The man oozed hotness at about a million kilometers per hour and I literally could not take my eyes off him. To crown it all, he was intelligent. He spoke with the eloquence of a demi-god and answered every question with the ease of a professional. I was in a trance! Throughout his portion of the training, my mind concocted all sorts of romantic scenarios and by lunch time I had already started writing my first name and his last name on my note book. At one point, I had to give myself a mental shake just so I could concentrate on what he was saying as opposed to the way his lips were moving!

I finally decided to confide in my male colleagues and they began to give me pointers on how to make a move on the guy. “Just walk up to him and ask him if he wants to go for drinks after the session” one suggested. “Tell him you want his number so you can ask some follow-up questions” another advised. I refused all their suggestions and they laughed in my face. “Glory, do you think this guy is just going to walk into your lap without some encouragement?” “How is the guy going to know you are interested if you don’t give him some sort of indication?” they all asked me. I sat moping. I had no answers, but I refused to acknowledge that there was some validity in the points they raised.

After two days of training my trainer walked out of my life and I may never see him again. I almost called out his name and ran down the stairs after him as he shook our hands and left our office premises in his official car. My male colleagues all looked at me in disbelief. But as I explained to them, if he was interested in me he should have made a move to get my number or something. Why should I be the one to chase after him?

Later that evening I narrated the story to a few close male friends and they both agreed that my way of thinking is archaic. According to them, the key to chasing a guy is to spot a mature man from a pack of boys. They explained to me that a mature man will know what is expected of him and would take over the reins immediately, instead of letting me carry on with the chase. But according to them, there is a fine line between subtle suggestive hints and full on ‘I want you’ gestures and men usually prefer the former.

So here is my dilemma. As I type this article, I have the ‘trainer’s’ complimentary card on my table, complete with mobile number and email address. Should I take the advice of friends and contact him? What would be the preferred method of contact- email, text or phone call? And what exactly should I say to him? Or do you think I should let sleeping dogs lie and face my work for the day? After all, if he was interested he would have made his move! Have you ever made a move on a guy or as a guy, has a woman ever put the moves on you? What are your thoughts people? Help a sister out!

SEX HELP MEN LIVE LONGER-STUDIES

A healthy sex life makes men live longer, provided they remain faithful to their partners.
Italian medical researchers carried out a series of studies and found that a healthy sex life means fewer cardiovascular problems for men.
Emmanuele Jannini, research coordinator, said, “What was evident from the research was that men who had active sex lives and were faithful to their partners had fewer cardiovascular complaints and lived longer,” reports the Telegraph.
“Increased sexual activity produces more testosterone, which leads to less depression and a better cardiovascular performance which means an improved metabolism.”

It is also good for men as it burns off excess sugars and reduces risk of heart disease, added Jannini. The study revealed those who were unfaithful had a poor cardiovascular performance as they were “also coping with the increased stress of their infidelity.” She added that the study had shown that a poor quality sex life could also lead to depression.

Hmmm...

I Know Why Men Cheat

By TJ O'Karo

 

Mmm…. Over the last couple of weeks, whether it was a coincidence or not, I had had a series of conversations with three different women on the subject “why men cheat”. The women wanted to know (with my being a married man and all) why my gender are so irrevocably wayward. Coincidence or not, I did not take offence that they would find it apt to ask me that question as if I was guilty of this as well!

At that point, I threw in some sensible and not-so-sensible reasons which were not fully accepted. The women felt I was just giving excuses as to why a man cannot control himself and respect the woman he claims to love. They said that the man should not get involved with a woman in the first place if he knows he’s going to cheat on her – a very valid point. The ire of the women left me rather saddened and then annoyed. I then gave myself the task of trying to figure out and come up with a “logical” explanation as to why a man who loves his wife or girlfriend and has built a home with her would risk throwing that all away for a few moments of pleasure? It did not take me long at all.

First of all, one needs to understand the nature of man, his psychology and all. He is by nature a hunter and rarely satisfied – a la Adam Smith! He has so many wants and needs and he spends his life trying to satisfy himself. He keeps moving on and on from one stage of life to the other, from one project to the other, from one conquest to the other, seeking out what’s next. He sees himself as a Formula 1 driver today, so he sets out to buy a Ferrari; tomorrow he is the best supporter of Arsenal F.C. so he buys season tickets at the Emirates. But really how many of us can afford a Ferrari or all the tickets for the home games of our favourite clubs? So what do we do? We buy a model of a Ferrari and buy replica jerseys of our favourite players. That’s what men do…we fantasize and like to see our fantasies come true.

Looking at it from a less carnal angle, men are escapists. Life throws lemons at them and instead of making lemonades, they become carnivores. They escape and pretend that they have nothing to do with lemons talk less of making lemonades!

Illustration:

John has a girlfriend Ada whom he is planning on marrying; things could not be better. However, he now has issues at work; he can’t seem to meet his target. Things have never been this bad at work. He talks to Ada about it and she assures him that everything is gong to be fine. OK she makes him feel better. Two months later things have not improved. John’s feeling the pressure and he is beginning to crack. John heads to the bar or club (same difference in Naija!) and somehow somehow meets Nkiru. Now Nkiru knows that John’s a banker in “BankOnUs plc” and seems like a nice guy. They spend the early evening talking and getting to know each other better. John begins to feel relaxed, all the pressure is ebbing. At that moment he is not John-the-banker-with-the-work-pressure, he is just John-the-correct-guy, a smooth operator. Nkiru does not need to know all his work wahala or life history, she just likes him the way she sees him. There are no antecedents, no real expectations and one thing leads to another and John takes Nkiru home for the night (if he is lucky!) Now John decides to have this extra affair, after all Nkiru provides an escape, a sort of anonymous safe haven. Then they get to know each other better and either one of two things happen. One: things get better at work; he realizes his wrong and breaks up with Nkiru. Two: things remain bad at work, he continues the affair but eventually he one day shares the true situation of things with Nkiru and (sometimes depending on her reaction) after a while he feels the need to escape again!

Still in the dark? OK, let me ask and answer a question: why do women love movies? Because, they love the idyllic or not so idyllic situations, they learn lessons from them hoping to apply them to their lives. Now, men on the other hand watch movies to live the next ninety minutes or so of their lives through someone else’s; they become Sherlock Holmes solving intricate crimes and puzzles or whatever character Denzel Washington is playing, all smooth, suave and debonair overcoming all the odds to shine at the end of the day. Simple, men like to escape; whether it’s for three hours or three months. They love to escape the hassles of everyday life, the challenges of putting food on the table, driving through traffic, terrible jobs and horrid bosses, the pressures that society has put on them as well as the ones they have put on themselves. And the easiest escape? The arms of another woman – a woman who does not know their weaknesses or challenges or peccadilloes; a woman who would not remind them that they are still jobless or that the landlord’s lawyers sent a reminder about the rent. A woman who will not say that she has a headache or that she does not want to spoil her new hair-do. A woman who would simply let them be whoever they want to be even if it is just for a few hours without any disapproval. Some of you may disagree saying that men are just dogs! True, men are like dogs in some respects. Dogs like to roam away from home sometimes because there are many new things to discover and smell in the great outdoors; but they always find their way home for dogs are loyal. Occasional roaming does not make them bad dogs.

Not all men cheat. True. But these are men who have successfully been able to find escape through other means. Is your man overly obsessed with work, gambling, alcohol; or more innocuously an English, Spanish or Italian football club? Or is he fully immersed in his studies for his MSc or PhD? Or is he an avid cinema-goer or movie-watcher? The internet perhaps…Facebook… online chatting? Or does he still read novels with the ferocity of a teenager? All these are escape routes. If this is the case you might as well count yourself lucky!

Now, this is by no means a complete explanation as to why men cheat as there are a number of pseudo-specific reasons why they do ranging from the logical to the selfish and then on to the darn right absurd! But you have to agree with me that it makes a hell lot of sense. Doesn’t it? Now you can burn me at the stake… or would you prefer a lynching?

The 5 Things Love is NOT

By Tari Ekiyor

 

“I don’t believe in Love”

Coming from a level-headed, intelligent and passionate young female, that revelation came as a shock to those of us who were privy to the confession.

I mean really, how possible is it for anyone who was born in the Mills & Boon, Sound of Music, Jerry Maguire ‘you complete me’ generation, to not believe in love.

It’s almost like a five year old sweet-toothed child saying he or she does not believe in Santa Claus. We grew up loving love. Love was heralded to us as the end result of all life’s pursuits in all the fairytales and romantic novels we would have done anything to exchange for our own realities. Even in adulthood, beaten down by disappointments and cynicism, we still on some level, believe that our very own ‘happily ever after’ might be lurking somewhere in the relationship with the next guy or lady.

Centuries and now even millennia have passed, and the one thing that has never gone out of Fashion is Love.

Oh Love, how lovely thou art!!

I know at the end of this article, some of the more hard-headed readers will drop brash, realistic comments about how the Unbeliever in love is in a better position than those of us Love hard or die trying fanatics; nevertheless, I shall not relent, and will go ahead to tell you, my fellow Disciple of Love, the 5 things that Love is not, to help us in our noble quest.

However, before I proceed, I want to give you this one Pre-tip for FREE: Love is NOT confined to the romantic mould we have believed all our lives that it can only be found in. Love is everywhere, in every type of relationship, waiting patiently to be discovered by those who are open to it.

Alright, now here we go:

Love is not Demanding

Giving is at the very core of all that Love is. Whether or not you are getting compensated, in any form of physical or emotional return, the Lover does not relent in loving. All of humanity is wired to ‘want’ something from the next person, but a Lover’s nature seeks to give of himself to another. So if you find yourself constantly complaining or feeling a lack of fulfillment because you are not receiving a desired expectation from someone you claim to ‘love’, then I’d suggest that you dig deep within, and ask yourself the really tough questions.

Love is not a Feeling

Oh the mushy feeling that we have been conditioned to believe is Love. How many times have you felt the ‘I’m woozy enough to jump over a cliff for you’ feeling, and then six months down the line, you experience a horrified or disgusted tremor when you see the same person? True love is eternal. It is intangible; it cannot be grasped, felt or captured. It is a willful decision, followed by actions, in which one commits himself to the uplifting of another, even in spite of your own self.  Love doesn’t begin when two people whisper ‘I love you’ to each other in a dark enclave. No, love is more likely to be present in a situation where a woman is looking at the man who has been feeding her garri for the past year and it doesn’t seem like the situation is even going to change, yet she strokes his cheek and lets him know that she’s in this for the long haul. Yeah, love can kinda look unattractive like that.

Love is not Controlling

Being aware of the fact that you have another person completely under your influence does not give you the moral right to manipulate them in whatever way that suits you. Emotional blackmail and all those other tactics do not exist in true love.  A Lover genuinely desires the best for who he(or she) loves, whether or not it is convenient for his own comfort or not. A Lover sees an opportunity to have his way, but instead chooses to do what’s best for the other person. He gives himself up for who he loves.

Love is not Complacent

Love always seeks to bring out the best in another person. It doesn’t get comfortable in the mediocre, but challenges the innate potential which is resident in the heart of the person being loved. Love does not tell you you’re right when you’re wrong. Or remain silent when he should speak up, for fear of the possible outcome on the relationship. The motives of love are always rooted in the goodness which birthed love in the first place. Love inspires another to be all that they can be and more.

Love is not Be-Grudging

Love accepts everyday as brand new. It forgets the wrongs of yesterday, and joyfully anticipates the rights of today. It looks upon the one who is loved with the hope that his goodness will shine through. There is no Love without Faith. It’s impossible to love someone and yet have absolutely no faith in the good that is in them. You can’t love someone and yet be constantly suspicious of them and expecting only the worst from them at all times. Yes, Love will accept the weaknesses of another, but be committed by Faith, to helping the person find strength in their weaknesses. Love forgives even before an offense has been committed.

So to all my fellow Love Disciples, I stand shamelessly on this platform and holla the war cry of Love. We shall be beat down, we shall be bruised; we shall be scorned, we shall be shamed. Yet through our hurts, through our pain; the Love in our hearts will be our Desert rain.

Photo Credit: Foto Search

Source: www.bellanaija.com

Please ‘Borrow’ Me 5 Naira

By Glory Edozien

 

I have always hated mathematics. Always. Right from learning my multiplication tables in primary school to learning algebra in secondary school. I couldn’t think of a more pointless subject. Unlike English. I fell in love with English from the very start…‘a noun is the name of a person, an animal, place or thing’. I can never forget that phrase, the use of verbs but even more importantly the use of adjectives and the correct phrasing of sentences. I particularly remember how my English teacher stressed the difference between using the word borrow and loan in a sentence. I think subconsciously she might have been preparing us for the real world filled with borrowing and loans!

I’m not sure if the credit crunch is entirely to blame but everyone seems to be borrowing money these days. Now before you all pounce on me, let me state categorically that I do not think there is anything wrong with borrowing. In fact, I personally have borrowed off friends and family during hard times. So this article isn’t about that. But I think the most important part in the transaction of borrowing is the paying back. If I borrow 5 naira from Jibola Lawal our music editor, I must have intention of paying it back within a certain timeframe. Unfortunately this is a rule of thumb many borrowers have chosen to ignore, and it saddens me to say this, but females seem to be the biggest culprits of this crime.

Recently, a friend of mine told me of how he loaned N250,000 to a female friend of his. Apparently, she had called him up one day crying and asking him to please loan her money so she could make up her rent payment. Seeing as she was a friend, he willingly gave her a cheque for N250,000 on the premise that she would pay back in a few months when she had received her ‘upfront’ payments. That was 2 years ago. Up until about last week the lady in question had refused to pay him back the money. She had gone through every excuse in the book to avoid paying him back. From outrightly denying that he loaned her anything to claiming that he had given her the cash as a gift because they were dating at the time. According to my friend, he reminded her that they were never in a relationship (although he does admit that bedroom activities did take place, there was no commitment involved) and promised her that even if it took 5 years he would get back every kobo of his money.

Last week Thursday, while having drinks at a cozy spot in Lekki, my friend spotted the runaway borrower talking to a mutual friend. As he began to approach her, she noticed him coming towards her and made to walk away. So he snatched off her car keys which she had on a tag around her neck….and in that short moment the lion had finally caught his prey. My friend refused to hand the lady back her car keys until she had paid him back his money in full. He took the keys and sat down with his friends having drinks while the girl sent everyone in the bar to beg him. After over 2 hours of begging, he finally agreed that he would only release the keys if she signed an undertaking setting out the terms of the initial loan and the new terms of payment. Seeing that there was no longer any room to hide, she agreed, wrote out an undertaking as requested and signed it. Today she has dropped off a post-dated cheque for the full amount payable in July 2011.

Another friend of mine also told me about how he loaned a friend two thousand dollars. When time for payment came, she came to his house slept with him and never talked about the money again. Anytime he brought up the topic of repayment, she would say in a coy voice ‘but baby I have already paid you back!’

If I am honest, I actually feel a bit embarrassed when I hear such stories. In this century when women are fighting tooth and nail to stand as equals alongside their male counterparts, we still have these examples of women trying to ride on the coattails of their feminine ‘bedroom’ prowess. If you ask someone to loan you money, you should pay them back; it is really quite simple. You should not start using bedroom activity to dodge your creditor! Yes, we all know circumstances change and even though you may really have had the intention of paying back within a specified time frame, something can happen to completely alter that. But when that happens you should speak to the person in question and explain the situation. Truth is everyone needs cash, so taking someone’s money and jetsetting is quite unfair and selfish.

So here is an apology to all men out there who have generously loaned a female friend some cash only to receive ‘stories’ when time came for payment. Abeg make una no vex! And to my female culprits, be warned oh…these men are on to your schemes now! As my English teacher also taught us…. “everyday is for the thief, but one day is for the owner”.

Photo Credit: http://cdn.wn.com

Source: www.bellanaija.com

Every Man For Himself

By Tari Ekiyor

 

I grew up in a family compound. Until a couple of years ago, I had no clue what life was like without being constantly surrounded by cousins, distant relatives and even family friends. My house was open to anyone and everyone. No-one who needed a place to stay was ever turned away by my parents. They believed in family and considered it a taboo to shut their doors in the face of a homeless family member or even stranger.

However, opening the door to relatives also opened the door to all sorts of abuses to the vulnerable children who lived within those doors.

Not everyone, as I’m sure we all know, responds to kindness with kindness. Needless to say, my nuclear family realized at some point that it was imperative for us to experience life as a small family unit, without the extension of an extended family.

The advantages of that decision far surpass the disadvantages, as it’s only in this time we have actually been able to bond on many different levels as a family unit.

Recently, a relative showed up on our doorstep unannounced, prepared to spend time in our home. My response to this was immediate suspicion and resistance as a result of what I know we’ve been through in the past.

Shortly after, I felt slightly guilty about my reaction because I know that it’s not a far-fetched idea for one’s relative to imagine that he’d always be welcome in the home of another family member.

It’s only normal in our Nigerian society to have communal family expectations. I wondered if apart from the past experiences of living with relatives, there were any other reasons as to why I was not very welcoming to the idea of living with yet another relative.

Have I been affected by the Western influences which are so prevalent in our Media?

Have we become Individualistic in our thinking as opposed to the community which our parents are more prone to?

A lot of us modern women will experience a shudder through our spines if we imagine that we will have to live in our husband’s houses with his family present. I wonder about this because there was never a time when my Mother did not have at least one member of my father’s family (as well as from her own family) in her home.

Has something changed about the structure of our family dynamics?

Gone are the days where, like we see in Nollywood movies, Mama or Papa can just come from the village to spend time in their children’s homes whenever they like. Or a big Sister or Brother is expected to harbor all his or her younger ones in the home to support them.

These days, it’s more ‘Me and Mine’ or ‘All man for himself’. Economic factors might be blamed for this way of thinking, and that’s a valid point.

Yet I ask: Is this the way forward?

Photo Credit: http://images.inmagine.com/

Source: www.bellanaija.com

9 Types Of Orgasms... And How To Give Them To Her!

		Orgasms for a man are EASY to understand. You simply thrust, get aroused, finish, and go to sleep =) Most men can only have one type of orgasm... after which they usually lose their erection temporarily before they can get hard and have another. Women however, can have MANY different types of orgasms. These orgasms range from those that are barely noticeable to her man, to SCREAMING, TOE-CURLING, even bed soaking squirting orgasms (Woo!)   And...

THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF ORGASMS IN BETWEEN THOSE EXTREMES!

And...unlike men, the TYPE of orgasm a woman has is often 110% CONTROLLABLE by her sexual partner ! (you)

One of the first steps to giving your girl the strongest orgasms of her life is RECOGNIZING that YOU have control over her orgasms.

Lucky you =)

My point is that you should never blame your girl for not coming. Always be honest with yourself, and ask yourself if you are really sexually satisfying her.

Let's talk about some of the types of orgasms women are capable of having.

Foreplay Orgasms:

These orgasms take place during foreplay (or "pre-penetration" as I like to call it).

Foreplay orgasms are sooo important... because they allow your lover to "warm up" and have multiple orgasms later when you penetrate her =)

Every GREAT lover should have the following foreplay orgasms in his playbook:

 

Nipple Orgasm: Not all women can have an orgasm through nipple stimulation alone, but since a personally know a few who can I had to put it in here to make the article complete!

 

Clitoral Orgasm: This orgasm concentrates on the clitoris. Not as intense as the deep spot and other vaginal orgasms but still a great warm up and relatively easy to give.

 

"Deep Spot" Orgasm: The "deep spot" orgasm is often the first time many woman have a true "internal" orgasm, as it's usually easier for a woman to have one of these than it is for her to have one during sex.

 

"G-Spot" Orgasm: Similar to the deep spot orgasm but not quite as intense. Still a great orgasm to have in the bag of tricks to get her "primed" for multiples during sex.

Now let's talk about some of the orgasms women are capable of having during 

PENETRATION:

Penetration Orgasms:

 

Vaginal Orgasm: Normal orgasm while you are inside of her, much like the "deep spot" orgasm. Usually more intense than any foreplay orgasm but for some woman very difficult to achieve. Far easier to achieve AFTER a foreplay orgasm.

 

 Anal orgasm: This occurs when you have a clitoral or vaginal orgasm during "rear entry". It feels very different to a girl than a clitoral or vaginal orgasm alone =)

 

Multiple Orgasms: Multiple orgasms are when your lover has an orgasm and you give her another (or many) orgasms right after. This is different than the continuous orgasm which is described next.

 

Continuous Orgasm: This is when your girl has an orgasm but instead of letting her sexual excitement come down (as many women think they have to because they are sensitive) you INSTEAD keep going and often even harder. This causes her to start orgasming UNCONTROLLABLY and over and over. With a continuous orgasm she will often be EXHAUSTED after and will always say she had not idea how many orgasms she had. 99% of women need to be verbally talked through a continuous orgasm as it is rare that previous lovers have EVER given this to her. She also has no way to do this herself through masturbation. If you give your girl this she just might become sexually addicted to you, so only do this with a girl you REALLY like!

Squirting Orgasm: Ah, the mysterious one! Well first of all I will tell you, squirting orgasms are VERY REAL and every woman has the "equipment" to have one! Actually getting your girl to experience one of these intense orgasms is a whole 'nother article altogether... but let's just say they're a lot of fun =)

So there you have it. Being a girl does have SOME advantages =)

You can discover how to give your girl each and every one of these exciting orgasms in the 2 Girls Teach Sex DVD package, but for now... since foreplay orgasms are THE KEY to giving her PENETRATION ORGASMS, I'm going to show you how to give your girl a "deep spot" orgasm to start things off...

How to Give Her A Deep Spot Fingering Orgasm:

 

Step1) Make sure your hands and nails are clean and trimmed.. otherwise not only will you cut and irritate her skin but she will not have an orgasm.

 

Step 2) Warm up as usual kissing her, rubbing her, both of you get naked

 

Step 3) Insert your longest finger (middle finger) palm up inside of her and go AS FAR BACK as you can

 

Step 4) While kissing her and (then stopping kissing her as she gets REALLY turned on) push the tip of your finger into the top back wall of her vagina in a curling motion (go deep!)

 

Step 5) Start slow, then vary the speed and pressure according to her response, steadily increasing pressure and intensity as you go. Most women need around 5 minutes of this stimulation to have an orgasm, but it's different for everybody. One thing is for sure though... when she DOES finally have an orgasm this way, YOU WILL KNOW IT!

Give this technique a try, and be sure to check out the 2 Girls Teach Sex DVD package if you want to watch Jessica and I demonstrate on each other

So now that you know how many different types of orgasms your girl can have... It's your job as a man to GIVE THEM TO HER.

Get to it! And if you want to find out how to give her each one of these easily (you can even give her ALL of them in one night!) check out the 2 Girls Teach Sex DVDs.

Take me up on my risk free test drive and see how many orgasms YOU can give HER! (and remember your "Secrets Of Squirting Orgasms" Bonus DVD)

NO! The Easiest Thing To Say!

I was resting at home one day, when a friend of mine came around. She said she had a problem and when I asked what it was, she said and I quote "a guy has been asking me out for some days now and I don't know how to tell him no". After listening to the whole story, I resolved that it was a problem of fear. I saw she liked the guy but as a platonic friend so she did not want to offend him yet she couldn't just date him. I'm sure you want to know what I told her? Yes, you're curious.

Ok, let me start. You might find this stupid, but you have to agreed with me that NO is the easiest word to say in a relationship not to talk of someone you are not dating yet. If a guy woos you, and after your normal "test run" time, you don't find him worthy of your love or perhaps he is but there is a wall between you two stopping you from dating him, why can't you simply say no.

I wonder why a lady would force herself into relationship not because she likes the guy but because she does not want to offend him. A man without enemies is a man without principles and that means you don't have anything you stand for. Another saying goes thus that a man that does not have anything to stand for, will fall for everything.

Don't just tell a guy NO, also tell him why you are saying NO. If you can be friends with him, let him know you both can't be more than friends. But if he doesn't retire, tell him he will expire. That simply means if he can't come to terms with what your decision, he should take a walk. A man that cannot respect your feelings before dating you won't respect your feelings when he starts dating you.

The truth is that NO does not really mean a NO. Lets look at it from this perspective, a NO to a bad guy means a YES to a good guy, a NO to premarital sex means a YES to keeping yourself for your future husband and so on and so forth.

Do you now understand the point I've been trying to drive home all this while. Always say NO when you have to say it and likewise say YES when you need to say it. But, always think twice before making any decision.

I guess this is the most i can say on this topic for now because of space.

For any help, don't hesitate to reach me on 2348028939470.

With God, all things are possible

LOVE

My favorite "description" of love is from the movie Captain Corelli's Mandolin:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul." --St. Augustine

Ten people you shouldn't ask out

You may recall that last week my hair was dealt a crushing blow when the girl cutting it decided to ask me out for a drink, therefore ensuring I could never see her again due to the inevitable awkwardness. I was distraught because she was the best hairdresser I'd ever encountered. The moral of that story is, don't make a pass at one of your clients. Here are a few other people you shouldn't ask out…

Boss
Sleeping with a superior may seem like a great way to climb the professional ladder - and maybe it is sometimes - but it's a massive gamble. All the benefits you gain when it's going well will be reversed if it starts going badly. Eventually, one of you will have to leave: You. 

Employee
When you're in a position of power, you may become more attractive to younger, hotter subordinates who would normally be out of your league. But bonking them could see you lose respect as a team leader and it will also make the Christmas party awkward.

Fireman
It's natural to be attracted to these manly, heroic figures with their long hoses and vigorous pumping technique. However, they have a job to do. If you interrupt a fireman while he's working, someone's house could burn down and a cat may perish.

Milkman
It's said that these cart-driving dairy providers are prolific lovers, and maybe that's true, but it can't be a good idea to get involved with one. If it goes wrong, he will continue to turn up at your house every day. A frosty doorstep stand-off with your new lover would be inevitable. You would be forced to move.

Family members
Generally we don't fancy our close relatives but if it's a stunningly attractive third cousin twice removed who you've never met before, it might seem acceptable. It's not advisable though. People will talk.

Friends' family members
We all have a friend with a hot sibling. But unfortunately, our friends will not appreciate us pursuing them because they will find it weird. And you may also find it weird when you realise that your friend and his sibling share 60% of their facial features. As for your friends' hot parents, or even their hot offspring, that's always a bad idea. 

Married men
Several of the world's kindest and most handsome guys already have wives, which means you should not ask them out even if you think they're awesome. The main reason is that they will probably say no. But even if they yes, your actions could eventually leave his children scarred for life. Also, his wife may try to stab you with a fork.

Cliff Richard
It is tempting to ask out Cliff Richard because he seems nice and he's not officially in a relationship with anyone at the moment. But you shouldn't do it. For one, he's too old for you. Two, you might not be his type. And three, Sue Barker would stab you with a fork.

Coach driversYou should not ask out the man driving the coach, however hunky he is, because it will divert his attention from the road and he could crash, leaving many dead. The same applies for bus drivers, pilots and men on bicycles.

Driving instructor
This is one of the sexiest of professions and the intimate nature of driving lessons, combined with the thrill of being bossed about by someone with years of experience, sends many ladies wild. But this desire should be resisted because if he says no, you will be forced to change instructors. This instability in your development could affect your driving ability in the long-term and people will make rude gestures to you on the road, which will upset you.

Watch out for next week!

Why guys are scared of being single...

A mate of mine, 31 years old and recently chucked by his girlfriend, told me this week that he doesn’t know a single other person that’s not in a relationship. I laughed, but then we listed all our mutual friends plus his numerous other friends, and it was true. None of them were single.

Some are happily married or as good as, but just as many are in what I’d call fakelationships. They’re not necessarily bad relationships; they fancy each other and they have fun together. But they know deep down (or often, just one of them knows) that it won’t last. Or at least, it will last until they can find someone better.

This is all well and good in your early twenties, but when you’re hitting 30 and beyond it’s possibly prudent to start thinking about a relationship’s long-term prospects. So why do men stay in these relationships? Often, I simply put it down to fear of singledom. Here are four of the big reasons why many guys are scared to be unattached…

Can’t turn down sex
If this makes men sound like insecure, randy, pathetic Neanderthals, then you’ve hit the nail on the head. From the age of around 14, chaps spend an unhealthy proportion of their lives pursuing sex with girls. And one of the best things about being in a relationship is that this activity is easily accessible. So understandably, some men are loath to give that up. Sex is a commodity to men – a valuable one - and discarding it seems like the height of decadence. It’s bad karma. And we fear that by ending a sexual relationship we might be setting ourselves up for the dreaded ‘dry spell’.

Fear of single self
Your boyfriend might seem like a caring, reasonable and mature man as you rest your head on his shoulder while watching ‘The Apprentice’ on the sofa. But within him lurks a beast that once roamed nightclub dancefloors at 2.48am leering at drunk women… and that beast could one day roam again. When men are single, they are drawn back into a world of nights out, booze and questionable sexual encounters - and they might not want to go back there. True, some men revel in their inner beast, but many others would prefer to have it taken into a field and shot.

Social stigma
Has your boyfriend ever taken you to a mate’s wedding? Were all his other mates there with their girlfriends? I bet it was a fun day out… but imagine if you hadn’t been there. He’d have been stuck on a table full of couples at dinner and ended the evening necking shots at the bar with just Alcoholic Uncle Frank for company. Having a girlfriend makes social occasions easier. Plus if he finishes with you now, at the next wedding they’ll all ask where you are and it will be awkward.
If most of his mates are single, this doesn’t matter a jot. But if they’ve all got girlfriends…

Relationship junkie
The need to always be in a relationship is sometimes perceived as a female trait, but there are plenty of guys like that too. When one affair ends, before you can say “plenty more fish” they’ve already shacked up with someone else. And we’re not talking flings, but proper self-proclaimed Facebook relationships – even if they only last a few weeks or months. Often, the reason for this quick turnaround is that relationships are all these guys know. It’s borne of a fear of loneliness, but also a fear of the unknown. If you’re with a man who has never been single for more than a month or two, ask yourself whether he’s keeping your relationship going for the right reasons.

Next week... Are you in a fake relationship?

Watch out!

5 Simple Ways to Recover from a Relationship Heartbreak..

Has your girlfriend told you to take a hike? It's a sorry thing and you probably just want to move on. Take a look at the following. You'll find ways to give yourself a boost. Face it, this isn't the easiest time in your life, but taking the following advice will help smooth out the rough places. Besides, if you just keep throwing yourself a pity party, nobody's going to attend except miserable you.

Get Over a Relationship Breakup Technique #1: Cut all lines of communicating with your ex, that's the first move. That means no phone calls, no emails, no anything. Hearing her voice and mooning over her, isn't going to stop unless you stop all forms of communication. You'll just get depressed as she rejects you further, while what you really need is to get on the ball. The best bet for you and for her, is to put plenty of distance between yourselves.

Get Over a Relationship Breakup Technique #2: Seriously meant - you must discard every iota of material stuff in your environment that reminds you that you were once together. When it comes to your environment, remember the old adage: Out of sight, out of mind. Toss or put in a box anything that reminds you of her. Don't turn yourself into a cult worshiper, give all her stuff back to her. Don't hang onto them as icons. Don't hand them over personally. Mail them to her. Or ask a friend to drop them off for you.

Get Over a Relationship Breakup Technique #3: Go out! That's the third step. Meet new people or renew old friendships. Misery hates company. So, if you curl up alone, you'll be miserable. You've a myriad avenues open. Don't forget old buddies. Spend more time with your brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents. They can even give you advice on how to get over the mess, how to heal.

Get Over a Relationship Breakup Technique #4: Diminishing the opportunity for pain is your fourth step. You need to find something that will shift the focus of your life. There is a big wide world out there with a plethora of opportunities to explore, many of which can improve you health-wise, mentally, and even financially. Thus, you're improving yourself, and doing something worthwhile rather than sitting alone with the TV.

Get Over a Relationship Breakup Technique #5: Choose to move on. And move on with forgiveness. That is your fifth step to getting over a relationship. Allowing old wounds to heal and allowing your ex forgiveness are the best ways to keep your life on track. Face it, it's over. Now be positive. Look up. Look about. Think of the future. That's the best way to cure pain. Why hold a grudge against your ex? Bitterness only sours the soul. Forgiveness is important. You don't know what the future will hold. You may get back with your ex. Why eliminate the possibility? Even if you don't, moving along without bitterness can only be good.

Breakups are tough but the preceding steps should help you along the road to recovery or, better yet, your road to being a better person.

If you found this information helpful and you'd like to learn how to move on after break up, check out the website Get Back My Girlfriend.